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The Conference Board Review® Article
Questioning Authority
By Vadim Liberman
Nina DiSesa explains the rules of sex and power in the workplace — and what hasn't changed.
Men don't like women who are more driven than they are, but they like Nina DiSesa — according to Nina DiSesa. Having sacrificed "everything other than children," DiSesa has risen through the ranks of advertising to become chairman and chief creative officer of ad giant McCann Erickson New York. When she reached the top, however, she found herself without much female company. And when she looked down, she continued to see many women dropping out of corporate America, especially companies with male-dominated cultures. To keep women in the game, she wrote Seducing the Boys Club: Uncensored Tactics From a Woman at the Top (Ballantine). DiSesa, who's "over 55" and insists that her publicity photo is both recent and unretouched, spoke from her New York office about her predilection for S&M, how to have a meltdown at work, and whether the corporate playing field will ever be equal for men and women. — Vadim Liberman
So Nina DiSesa is into S&M. Kinky!Ha! When I talk about S&M, I'm talking about seduction and manipulation. The most successful people in business, warfare, politics, and life itself are masters of the art of manipulation. But it's the combination of the two that is important, because people who are manipulators are seen as selfish and in the wrong. Manipulate is a dirty word, but if you combine it with seduction — that is, charm and benevolence — so that the other person is going to benefit as much as you are, then it will work to your advantage. Most people actually enjoy being handled as long as you don't hurt them or operate maliciously. They won't resent you for manipulating them if you give them something in return, like helping them to be better at their jobs or better people.
For example, during the first half of my career, I was a hotheaded creative person who would yell at everybody if things weren't going my way. That was the wrong way to manipulate people. I eventually won whatever I was trying to win, but it was at a tremendous cost. When I came to work at J. Walter Thompson in Chicago to be a creative director, the scuttlebutt on me was that I was a hothead. I had to work hard to overcome that reputation. I wanted people to know that I'd gone through that transition, where as a creative person you're so frightened that someone is going to make you look foolish that you just go berserk. Now that I was a leader, I had to be different. I still had to use my powers of persuasion, but I had to do it in a charming, non-confrontational way.
Do most women in business know how to manipulate men to their advantage?No, they don't know how to manipulate men so that men will allow them to get to the top. I am constantly amazed at how many intelligent women either don't understand that this is important or refuse to manipulate a situation.
A 20-year-old woman said to me, "I don't feel like I have to manipulate people. I've worked hard and gone to college and I feel like I don't have to resort to these tactics to get ahead." In truth, she's right. We're all treated like shit when we're in our 20s. Men and women are equal then. But women notice later, like in their 30s, that things aren't exactly equal anymore. And that's when they'll wish they had developed their own tactics earlier in their careers. Testosterone is too powerful for women to handle with reason and intellect alone.
Comments? Write a letter to the editor.
Return to the January/February 2008 The Conference Board Review® issue.
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